Akatsuki Mayhem
by Jonathan112
Summary: The Akatsuki get a new member that drives most of them up a tree, even Tobi. I own nothing but my OC(s), check my profile. Probably just a humor/adventure story, might change. Might be rated M due to scenes of intense blood. Does NOT follow Naruto storyline directly.
1. Chapter 1

Author Notes: I had this idea running through my head, giving me a writer's block with my other story so I made this. Does not follow the Naruto Shippuden storyline directly. Contains OC(s), little to no mentions of Nagato, no mention of Obito (I'm a Tobi fan only), and the Akatsuki being driven up a wall. Don't like, don't read. Reviews would be welcomed and constructive criticism is also welcomed, destructive...NO! Also if you know the Japanese versions of Jutsus please tell me (I ask this on account of some people writing the names in Japanese only but I prefer English). I own nothing but my OCs, check my profile.

* * *

Prologue

Akatsuki Main Hideout

Pain looked at the assembled group of S-ranked criminals that was the Akatsuki and cleared his throat to no effect due to the constant cussing of Hidan against Kakuzu, Deidara yammering about his "art" and a whole ton of other minor pains. Pain got a tick mark on his forehead.

"ALMIGHTY PUSH!" yelled Pain outstretching his hands and launching the group into the nearby wall where they collapsed into a heap except Tobi who was snickering.

"Now that I have your undivided attention, I would like you to welcome our newest member." said Pain motioning towards a figure in the shadows who stepped out and a few of the members face-vaulted at his appearance while Tobi shined like a star. The new member already had the Akatsuki cloak on, but one thing that was disturbing to most was the blue-green mask in a spiral pattern with the right eye visible. He appeared no older than twelve-years-old. Hidan got up and walked up to the kid before leaning on his scythe.

"Listen kid, this job is for the adults, so why don't you go back to your snotty parents and-" Hidan was never able to finish his sentence because he was suddenly looking down the barrel of a large cannon.

"Call my parents 'snotty' again and I'll blast your head off." threatened the kid and Hidan backed off with his hands in a "I surrender" gesture.

"I like this kid." said Kisame smirking as he shouldered Samehada.

Itachi looked the kid over and felt something...familiar about him but shrugged it off. Deidara walked up to the kid and extended his hand.

"I'm Deidara and-" began the mad blonde bomber but was cut off by the kid.

"-And you like to use your mouthed hands as pleasure tools and you're a closet pervert due to you having a girly pony-tail." finished the kid and for five seconds everybody was silent before everyone except Deidara burst out laugh while the blonde bomber blushed furiously. Even the stoic Uchiha was laughing his head off and Tobi was on the ground clutching his stomach and Deidara glared at the orange masked ninja.

"I'm sorry Deidara-Sempai, but it's just so funny!" gasped Tobi between fits of laughter. Deidara stormed off and locked himself in his room before an explosion went off and the door fell off its hinges.

"[Sarcastically] Oops! Were these for me?" said the kid opening his hands to reveal clay bombs and everybody burst into another fit of laughter.

"What's your name kid?" said Kisame trying to calm himself.

"Klaxon formerly from the Village Hidden in the Leaves!" said the kid striking a pose and sounding childish unlike he sounded moments before and Itachi despite being unable to control his laughter, mentally narrowed his eyes.

* * *

END CHAPTER

That's it for this chapter. If anyone has ideas please PM me and remember CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is welcomed, DESTRUCTIVE is NOT.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Notes: None

Thanks to those who have reviewed, followed, and favorite-d this story so far.

* * *

Chapter 2: Klaxon, Kakuzu, and Deidara

Kakuzu looked at his temporary "partner" and wondered why hadn't he killed the guy yet? Sure he was a kid but that was no reason not to kill him and besides so far he was just good for laughs. The two were currently traveling through the Land of Iron when a beeping noise reached his ears and he looked to see his "partner" lift up his sleeve on his left arm to reveal metal.

"Hey Kakuzu?" said Klaxon following the beeping.

"Hmm?" grunted Kakuzu.

"How much time do we have to find that bounty?"

"About a few days. Why?"

"I think I just found gold. Give me a sec." said Klaxon before he started drilling into the earth.

_WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-CLANG!_

"[Distant] Yep. I struck gold. Hey wait! Uh oh..."

The ground starts shaking and then a black geyser erupts from the hole Klaxon drilled with him at the top.

"...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! GAH!" screamed Klaxon before he slammed onto the ground with a large chunk of gold in his arms.

"Y-you found a-an o-oil d-deposit..." stated Kakuzu stunned.

"[Pained] Glad I could help. Mind getting this gold off me?"

Kakuzu reacted quickly and pulled the large chunk off him and helped Klaxon up.

"My mask isn't cracked is it?" said Klaxon feeling it.

"Nope. Now then, how do we get this oil transported?"

"Leave that to me. But first, I need that chunk of gold..."

"What for?!"

"To make the oil more valuable. Oil in a gold barrel, how much do you think you'd get?"

*Cash Register Opening*

Klaxon saw dollar signs in Kakuzu's eyes and saw drool soaking the man's mask as the scarecrow handed the chunk to Klaxon who in a flash turned it into a gold barrel and then built an oil derrick out of nothing and filled the barrel.

"So, I take it you won't kill me?" said Klaxon leaning on the barrel.

"Never..." stated Kakuzu in a daze. Suddenly five shinobi surrounded the duo.

"They're trying to take our stuff! Kill them!" yelled the apparent leader and all five charged.

"Looks like they want to play. Let's play!" said Klaxon bringing out claws before he shredded them to pieces leaving Kakuzu even more stunned.

*CRUNCH!*

"AAAH!" screamed a ninja before he was ripped in two by Klaxon who had the man's arm in his jaws before he swallowed it.

"Tastes like chicken! GIH! *Cough! Hack! Cough! HACK!*" said Klaxon before he hacked up the guy's bones and then put his mask back on.

"They weren't fun at all. No strength." continued Klaxon in a whining voice, "Can you take over this now?"

Kakuzu nods furiously.

"Here's 600 ryo so you don't tell anyone what's under my mask, okay?" said Klaxon handing the man said amount who again nods. Klaxon then shoots off as a black-red streak and approaches a clearing in the Land of Fire. He then began walking until he was surrounded by Leaf Ninja, one being a certain silver (or grey) haired Copy Nin.

"Uh oh, looks like I made a wrong turn." said Klaxon shrugging before he decided to turn around and try to walk away.

"You're not going anywhere." said one of other ninjas.

"Maybe, maybe not. Bye!" said Klaxon before he disappeared in black mist shocking them. Klaxon reappeared at the main hideout and sat down on a couch and put his hands behind his head and dozed off. Hidan tried to remove his mask only to have his hand grabbed and thrown into a wall.

"Sorry, no peaks at my face unless I want you too." said Klaxon before he went back to sleep. Pain walked into the room and looked at them.

"Deidara, Tobi, Klaxon, you three are going to go get the Sanbi (Three-Tails)." said the Akatsuki leader and Deidara who was having a drink sprayed it all over Tobi.

"Ah, Sempai! Say it don't spray it!" whined the orange masked ninja.

"WHAT!? I am not going on any mission with BOTH of them!" said Deidara looking quite mad.

"Closetpervertsaywhat!" said Klaxon.

"What?"

"Nothing. [Snickers]"

Deidara sighs and gets up and walks out of the base, followed by Tobi...

"Wait for me Sempai!"

...and Klaxon.

"This should be fun."

* * *

A few hours later

"Look Sempai! A dango shop! Can we stop and take a break? We've been walking for hours and I'm exhausted!" said Tobi before he ran off for the shop and Deidara sweat-dropped.

"[Sarcastically] Sure, you're exhausted." mumbled the blonde bomber and then he heard a ear-spltting noise and then a sickening _crunch_ that sent shivers down his back and he saw Klaxon walk into view with a dead deer being dragged.

"What? I have to eat too." said Klaxon as he continued dragging the carcass.

When the last two arrive, Tobi already has some dango waiting and hands Deidara his and the two watch as Klaxon removes his mask to reveal...a clothe covering the left side of his face and Deidara sweat-drops when Tobi hides his face while eating dango. Klaxon rips off a leg from the deer and eats it.

"Hey, sempai! Look." said Tobi pointing behind them and at a clay(?) pig(?), "Doesn't that look like your art? Now then does that mean your works of art are...cheap rip-offs?"

Klaxon nodded his head in agreement.

"Tobi...Klaxon..." growled Deidara shaking in anger.

"Tobi, I suggest we...(Runs off)...RUN FOR OUR LIVES!" yelled Klaxon taking off before he put his mask back on.

"[Panicky scream/laugh]" came Tobi's reply as he ran off too.

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" yelled Deidara.

*EXPLOSION!*

"WOOOOoooo-hooooo-hooooo-hooooo!" screamed Tobi flying over a mountain.

"I'm blasting off again...!" screamed Klaxon as he disappeared into the afternoon sky.

* * *

END CHAPTER

Note: I tried to do the scene the best I could, sorry if its not how it truly goes but it doesn't hurt to try. Read and Review. No destructive criticism please. Anybody know how the Three-Tails fight goes? I need help there...


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Notes:I had to randomize this scene. But hey, this story's random! Thanks to those who have remained loyal to this corn ball of a story and I hope you continue to read, review, favorite, and follow. Enjoy.

* * *

Chapter 3: Deidara, Tobi, and Klaxon vs. Sanbi (Three Tails) and Poker Night

Tobi and Deidara made their way through a forest, Tobi still smoking from the explosion when Klaxon lands on Deidara.

"I thought landings were supposed to be painful." said Klaxon childishly.

"Klaxon..." growled Deidara.

"Uh oh...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-HHHHAAAAHAAAA-AAAAAAAHHH!" screamed Klaxon as he took off running.

*EXPLOSION*

"I'm blasting off again...!"

* * *

Lake, 2 Hours Later

The trio made "good" time to the lake and it was only 7 PM.

"So, where's the Sanbi?" asked Klaxon before he was hit by a massive tail and sent flying into the lake. Tobi and Deidara turn around to see the Three-Tails directly behind them and Tobi holds up a sign that says:

"Mother!"

Tobi runs off across the water with his hands flailing behind him, screaming like a little schoolgirl and Deidara gets onto his clay bird before it can hit him. The Sanbi then charges Klaxon and Tobi who both get out of its way and then throw explosives at the Bijuu only to make it madder.

"RRRUUNNN!" yelled Klaxon running for his life before he stopped and had his metal left arm transform into a massive cannon that made Deidara's mouth drop in shock.

"FIRE!" yelled Klaxon and...

_*CLICK!*_

"Huh, I thought I loaded this thing. Here, hold it." said Klaxon removing it and handing it to the Sanbi pointing directly at its face.

*EXPLOSION*

"OOPS! Guess it was loaded! WOO-WOO-HAHOO!" said Klaxon before he ran away at near Sonic speeds and appeared behind the Sanbi where he got a big spiky boot and kicked the Tailed-Beast right in the a$$. It turned around and glared at Klaxon.

"You want to see what's under my mask?" said Klaxon childishly before he removed it and...

*Horrible Monster Sounds*

Tobi, Deidara, and the Three-Tails all turn completely white and big eyed.

"Heh, he! Sorry, I had my face set for horrible monster." said Klaxon childishly before he pulled out a giant sledgehammer and smashed the Sanbi with it. The Sanbi looked daze before Tobi flicked it on the forehead and it fell over with a groan.

Tobi and Klaxon do a "Rock Lee and Guy Sensei" Genjutsu at which Deidara groans and looks away before it can effect him. The two stop.

"Alright now all we have to do is tie up this beast, drag it back to HQ, drain it, capture the others-" said Deidara before Klaxon interrupted.

"Deidara, you talk more than me and Tobi combined." said Klaxon in his normal voice which pissed off the blonde bomber.

"KATSU!"

*EXPLOSION*

"We're blasting off again...!" screamed Klaxon and Tobi as they disappeared into the dusk time sky.

* * *

10 Minutes Later

"...the Sanbi was weak because it didn't have a container to be able to use all its powers, that's why you both were able to defeat it so easily." said Deidara yet received no response from the two lounging on the Sanbi's belly.

"Alright, I admit it, I don't like the quiet so if you both could-"

Klaxon and Tobi: "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!"

"HOW DARE YOU SLEEP THROUGH ONE OF MY EXPLAINATIONS! TIME FOR AN EXPLOSIVE WAKE-UP CALL! KATSU!" yelled Deidara blowing them up again.

*EXPLOSION*

"AHHH!" screamed Klaxon running across the water and...

*CRASH!*

...right into a rock wall.

* * *

Later; Akatsuki Hideout

"I bet that if I lose you all get to see what's under my mask." said Klaxon looking at the others with a poker face (he's wearing a mask, duh!).

"I'm in." said Hidan.

"I fold." said Kakuzu receiving concerned glances, "What?"

"I'm in." said Pain.

Kisame, Itachi, Sasori (don't ask), and Zetsu put all their money in and showed their cards.

"Straight As!" said Klaxon showing six Aces and everybody face vaults while Kakuzu falls back laughing his head off (literally).

Hidan picks up a card with a boxing glove on it.

"What kind of f**ing card f**ing is this?" said Hidan examining it.

"Oops, I forgot to turn it on." said Klaxon flipping the switch on the back of the Ace.

*BONG!*

The boxing glove smashes Hidan's face in and everybody falls back laughing and Klaxon collects his winnings while Hidan cusses up a storm.

*Lightning strikes Hidan*

"He was literally cussing up a storm." said Klaxon coming back into view and everybody nearly dies laughing.

* * *

Batman's Universe

Joker woke up from a horrible nightmare that somebody actually nearly killed people without using his laughing gas.

"Actually, its true." said Klaxon appearing through a rip in the multi-verse. Joker screams like a little schoolgirl.

* * *

END CHAPTER

Sorry if this is short, but I tried and you can't blame me for trying.


	4. Sasuke vs Akatsuki Trio, 1

Author's Notes: Same as the previous chapters, etc., etc. Enjoy.

* * *

Chapter 4: Deidara, Tobi, and Klaxon vs. Sasuke, 1

The three figures were walking through the forest when the Akatsuki trio came upon a teenager with raven hair and emotionless onyx eyes.

"Hello, you must be Itachi's little brother." said Klaxon childishly and giving a friendly wave only to receive a death glare.

Tobi and Klaxon: "S-scary!"

The two scurried away and hid behind a tree.

"You three are going to tell me what you know about Itachi." said Sasuke glaring at all three.

"Hmm, I don't think so!" said Klaxon slamming his fist into ground and golden Rahkshi emerged from the ground, shocking all three.

"Play nice with my friends." said Klaxon with an eye-smile. Deidara and Tobi jump back as the Rahkshi charge Sasuke who activates his Sharigan.

* * *

END CHAPTER

I know, I know, short but it draws in your attention right? Hope you continue to read.


	5. Sasuke vs Akatsuki Trio, 2

Author's Notes: None

* * *

Chapter 5: Sasuke vs. Akatsuki Trio, 2

Sasuke cut down the golden Rahkshi with ease and stopped for a moment as Klaxon looked pained.

"Give me a moment. I hate it when people kill them...it's a one-sided alliance, I call them up and if they're killed, I get the pain! AAH-HA-HA-AHH!" said Klaxon before he got into a lopsided fighting stance.

"Tobi, help him while I get ready." said Deidara pointing to Klaxon.

"You're really going all out? You sure?" said Tobi looking at the blonde bomber in shock.

"Tobi..." growled Deidara.

"YIKES! Okay, okay! I'm going! Sheesh, talk about unreasonable!" the last part Tobi muttered under his breath. Sasuke charged Klaxon and impaled him in the gut.

"AAH! He got me!" said Klaxon before he dissolved into black mist, "Just kidding!"

'What is with this guy?!' thought Sasuke as he prepared for the fight with the other two.

"Saaaaaaaaaaaaaasuke! Let's plaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!" said Tobi appearing from the tree tops into a clearing. Sasuke charges the mask wearing ninja and swings his blade in a bisecting arc yet the blade passes harmlessly through Tobi who just falls to the ground and gets back up.

"That tickled." said Tobi before he threw a clay bomb at Sasuke who barely dodged it. Sasuke avoids the sloppy punches and kicks from Tobi yet the masked ninja seems to block his attacks just fine.

"AH-AH-HA-AHHH-CHOO!" sneezed Tobi shooting fireballs at Sasuke after (discretely) making hand signs.

"What an idiot." muttered Sasuke before he spin-kicked Tobi into a tree only to get grabbed from behind and thrown into a tree.

"Tobi, cover Deidara." said Klaxon walking towards Sasuke and the orange mask wearing ninja saluted before he disappeared.

"Why'd you call off your help?" said Sasuke confused.

"Because...(Removes mask to reveal Shattered Eye in right eye)...you're weak." said Klaxon squatting down in front of Sasuke who was embedded in the tree still.

"Do I know you?" said the emotionless avenger.

"Hmm, maybe I should remove the clothe so you can see my face completely." said Klaxon pulling off the clothe to reveal five scars, one vertically across the left eye and the other four across the left cheek.

"Do you know who I am now?" said Klaxon getting up and walking a fair distance away, "Or is getting a claw through your shoulder too painful a memory?"

Sasuke's eyes widen before they turn angry.

"No way you're him!" growled Sasuke.

"You're right, I'm not. I'm his son. Klaxon, son of Skyler, Hidden Leaf's number one Hunter Nin, nicknamed the Vanquisher at your service." said Klaxon doing a mock bow.

"If you're his son, why'd you turn against the village?"

"Who said I did? I'm having fun, I'm in this for fun! Sure I may kill a few people but hey, I've killed in the...20, 30 years of my life?" said Klaxon musing to himself the last part before he shrugged.

"I'm tired of this disguise. Time to have some real fun." said Klaxon throwing off his cloak as dragon wings sprouted from his back along with a dragon tail. His height became that of eight feet, his muscles became larger, his teeth grew sharper, his (organic) hand turned into claws as did his feet. Six horns (resembling Cynder's) sprouted from the back of his head and smoke rose from his mouth. He grabbed Sasuke by the head and threw him through a couple dozen trees and ran after him.

"Sempai, did you know he could do that?" said Tobi looking at Deidara who had an expression of utter shock.

Deidara shook his head 'no'.

* * *

END CHAPTER


	6. Sasuke vs Akatsuki Trio, Final

Author's Notes: None

* * *

Chapter 6: Sasuke vs. Akatsuki Trio, Final

Sasuke unsteadily got to his feet and barely had time to dodge a charing Klaxon who plowed down a tree and swung his tail catching Sasuke in the stomach and winding him while cracking some ribs. Klaxon inhaled and unleashed a stream of copper fire that Sasuke barely avoided and the Uchiha countered by throwing shuriken at Klaxon who blocked each projectile with his metal arm.

"Even now you're nothing but a kid with a big ego and no proof of how powerful you are. Hahahaha. Shattered Eye Mimic: Mangekyo Sharigan!"

Sasuke's eyes widened as Klaxon's right eye morphed into a Mangekyo Sharigan and rage filled his being.

"How dare you disrespect the Uchiha clan with your false eye!" snapped Sasuke creating a Chidori and charging, only to have his arm grabbed and slammed into the ground.

"Give it up kid. You can't beat me." said Klaxon narrowing both his eyes.

"N-never..." gasped Sasuke as it felt like every bone was broken in his body.

"Fine. Amaterasu!"

Sasuke's eyes widened as his body was engulfed in black flames and then...

*Poof!*

Klaxon didn't even react as his tail wrapped itself around Sasuke's neck and outstretched Chidori.

"Nice try, but not good enough!" yelled Klaxon throwing Sasuke into the air before he punted Sasuke into a tree that snapped in half from the impact.

"Fire Style: Great Fire Annihilation!"

Green Flames shot towards Sasuke and engulfed half the forest in fire and Sasuke emerged unbothered by the flames as Klaxon's Shattered Eye regained the red-black "X".

"Nobody's survived this long, but of course I'd rather not get Itachi's bad side." said Klaxon shrugging before he had his arm turn into a cannon and started shooting at Sasuke with Blackout's Heavy Weapon (Disintegrator; blue explosion shockwaves) yet missed with each shot before it turned into a Predator Spear Gun and one of the spears nailed one of Deidara's arms to the tree he was standing on.

"Klaxon, you idiot! Do you have any idea how bad this hurts!?" yelled Deidara flailing with his good arm.

"Sorry. [Quietly] Not!"

*Flesh getting pierced*

Klaxon looked down to see Sasuke's Chidori through his chest and he started laughing, freaking everybody out.

"You can't kill me, Sasuke. Only another Hybrid can kill me!" said Klaxon before he disappeared in black mist and reappeared on his knees next to a tree.

"Tobi, deal with him while I heal." said Klaxon.

"Yes sir!" said Tobi hopping down from the tree and producing tons of clay bombs from hidden pockets.

"Minefield Great Plain Jutsu!" yelled Tobi as he disappeared into the ground and placed mines around Sasuke. Tobi popped out of the ground a few feet away.

"It's all set!" said Tobi flashing a double thumbs up. He then preceded to remove himself from the ground.

"Uumph!" said Tobi his lower half still stuck in the ground, "Whoops..."

He began sweating and panicking before the mines exploded catching him in the blast and setting his cloak on fire.

"OWOWOWHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOT!" screamed Tobi running in circles. Sasuke emerges from the coils of a fried snake and looks at the flaming Tobi and then looks for Klaxon yet doesn't see him anywhere.

"Thousand Years of Death!"

Sasuke felt immeasurable pain as that attack connected with his backside and he was launched into a tree. He got up, fuming at the man(?) who pulled that trick on him.

"HAHAHAHAHA! I got you! I got you! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" laughed Klaxon slamming his fists into the ground as he laughed, causing both Diedara and Sasuke to sweat-drop. Sasuke regained his composure and charged the Hybrid with his sword outstretched, covered in lightning. Klaxon blocked the sword with his metal arm and grabbed Sasuke with his organic hand and sent a 2,000,000 volt shock into Sasuke's system with a joybuzzer placed on his organic hand.

"HAHAHAHAHA! I enjoy pulling pranks while fighting, reminds me of the old days!" said Klaxon as he swiped Sasuke's feet from under him and slammed him into the dirt. Klaxon then grabs Sasuke's foot and throws him into the air and shape-shifts into Scorpion and launches a living spear at the Uchiha.

"GET DOWN HERE!" yelled Scorpion pulling Sasuke towards him before he did a hellfire flip-kick that sent the raven-haired teen into a tree and Klaxon morphs back to normal and opens a panel on his metal.

"Tobi, we're leaving." said Klaxon pulling out a device with strange lettering that began disappearing(1).

"B-but what about me?!" yelled Diedara.

"Sorry, Diedara but there's no time to remove that spear from your arm. Tobi, MOVE, NOW!" said Klaxon as he grabbed Tobi and took off.

Deidara began panicking and tried his best to remove the spear but with no success. He watched as the device reached what would be considered "0" and his eyes widened in awe as the thing exploded in a blue fireball.

"Such beauty..." gasped Diedara before the flames engulfed and the explosion eradicated every tree within a 60 mile radius around the battle field. The people in the nearby town saw the massive blue mushroom cloud rise up and certain allies of Sasuke saw this and ran towards the battle field.

* * *

Akatsuki HQ; 2 Hours Later

The rest of the Akatsuki were in the base waiting for the trio to return when Tobi walks in, followed by a now much bigger Klaxon (8 feet tall) who just goes and sits on the couch and pulls out a glaive and starts cleaning it.

"Where's Diedara?" asked Pain.

"Couldn't help him. Nuke set to go, no time to help remove spear. He died in explosion." said Klaxon looking at his reflection on the glaive.

*Flesh getting sliced*

Hidan's head drops to the floor.

"COME ON! WHY'D YOU F**ING DO THAT YOU MOTHERF**ING F**R!?" yelled Hidan's head.

"I don't like creepy voodoo guys, especially those who think they can't be killed." said Klaxon taking out a cigar and lighting it with his thumb that sprouted green fire. It exploded in his face and he side-spit the ruined cigar into Hidan's eye.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" screamed Hidan in pain as he was unable to get the object out of his eye.

'One down, eight to go.' thought Klaxon as he cleaned the now bloodied glaive.

* * *

END CHAPTER

(1) For those who guessed what weapon that was, good job.

For those who didn't, it was a Predator Nuke.


	7. Sasuke vs Itachi and Siren, 1

Author's Notes: I don't know when Kakuzu and Hidan "die" so this is probably random. Please note; I did not watch most of the Naruto series so expect some errors but anyway, enjoy. I probably skipped Hidan and Kakuzu's death here, so forgive me, I couldn't think of a good way to have Klaxon fight Team 10 and Kakashi. Also, if I have Sasuke vs. Itachi and Pain vs. Naruto battles switched chronologically, you can blame yourselves for not HELPING ME. I'm kidding, no one is to blame for the mistakes but helping me out would be helpful.

* * *

Chapter 7: Sasuke vs. Itachi and Klaxon (Siren), Part 1

Itachi was sitting in a stone chair waiting for his younger brother as Klaxon took out two skulls and started juggling them.

"Where'd you get Hidan's skull?" asked Itachi emotionlessly.

"Uh..."

* * *

_+Flashback+_

_Hidan was fighting Team 10 and the so called "Copy Cat Ninja" with Kakuzu and both were badly injured. The Nara f** was a pain to dodge due to him using the shadow possession technique when suddenly he felt a pain rip through his spine and he dropped his scythe as his muscles went numb._

_"WHAT THE F** HAPPENED?!" yelled Hidan before he felt two blades pierce his chest and then he felt his skull get ripped out of his head and he fell forward as flames engulfed his body and the immortal Jashinist was dead._

_"[D] Nobody lives forever." said the figure holding Hidan's skull before he disappeared into the tree tops._

_+END FLASHBACK_

* * *

"...I found it." said Klaxon before he continued juggling it.

"Before Sasuke shows up, mind telling me why you killed him?"

"H-how'd you know I did?"

"You have wrist-blades hidden in your metal arm."

*SHING!*

"Slag! Knew I should of thought of a better place for them."

"So...you betrayed the Akatsuki?"

"No...not yet...besides you're the only one who knows this...and I know your secret as well."

Itachi's eyes widened for a second before he regained himself and turned towards his current partner.

"Have you told anyone?"

"No, and I don't plan to...and I don't plan to tell you my other plans yet." said Klaxon with a smirk behind his mask, "Oh, and call me Siren in this form, okay?"

"Fine."

"Sasuke is coming...better act natural...I plan to make quite the entrance. Ta-ta." said Siren before he disappeared via black mist and Itachi looked straight ahead where his younger brother was coming from. Sasuke entered the room calmly and glared at his older brother.

"Itachi." said Sasuke, malice dripping in his voice.

"Sasuke." said Itachi showing no emotion on his face, or in his voice.

"Do you know why I've come here?"

"To kill me. But...I see you haven't obtained the Mangekyou Sharigan like I told you. Couldn't bring yourself to kill your best friend?" taunted Itachi.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes before he drew his sword and leapt at Itachi who seemed to do the same but Itachi wound up being impaled and pinned to the floor.

"Now then, before I slice your chest and head in half you better tell me what I want to know." said Sasuke glaring at his brother who lifted up a hand and pointed towards another Itachi. Sasuke sighed before the one he pinned turned into a flock of crows and Sasuke removed his blade from the ground and looked at Itachi.

"Genjutsu? Just like that night..." said Sasuke glaring at his brother. Sasuke turned around after hearing footsteps approaching and from the very way he came walked in Siren...carrying a plate with a tea kettle and two cups on it.

"Itachi-sempai! I brought you the tea you ordered!" said Siren childishly before he noticed Sasuke, "Oh, hello. Itachi, you never told me you were expecting company."

"You WORK with this...disgracer?!" said Sasuke glaring at both.

"What do you mean by 'disgracer'? He hasn't done anything to disgrace our...or what was once...our clan." said Itachi calmly.

"He uses his weird eye to mimic our clan's doujutsu!" snapped Sasuke seething with anger.

"Siren, is this true?" said Itachi turning towards Siren.

"Y-yes...b-but I never meant to be disrespectful, I just like the Sharigan soooo much...I couldn't resist..." said Siren lowering his head.

"I don't really see the harm in him doing what he does so I don't really mind." said Itachi which seemed to enrage Sasuke as he turned around and charged at Siren, sword ready to decapitate the kid.

*CLANG!*

Sasuke was sent flying into the wall as Siren caught the thrown plate and cups and replaced the tea kettle onto the plate and walked up to Itachi before Siren poured him some tea and took a seat next to him and poured himself some tea.

(Side note: The tea kettle is made of iron)

"How'd you move so fast? Even my Sharigan didn't pick up your speed." said Sasuke getting up and wiping the blood from his lips.

"I gained the speed from dad...who is no longer with the living...*sniff*" said Siren his voice cracking with sorrow.

"Who was he?" said Itachi raising an eyebrow taking a sip of tea.

"Sasuke knows, he put one of his claws through his shoulder...but I'll tell you anyway. His name was Skyler, but his nickname was 'The Vanquisher'."

Itachi spit out the tea he was drinking in surprise and turned his head towards Siren wide-eyed.

"HE was your father?!"

"Why so surprised?" asked Sasuke glaring at them both.

"Ever hear of the Cloud Nin Massacre?" said Itachi regaining his composure.

"Yeah, something about over a thousand Cloud Nin were found headless or skinned and flayed...HE DID THAT?!"

"Yep. Hehehehehe! I'm not like him in ways but with certain things I am." said Siren.

"But how come you're...?" said Itachi confused.

"Insane? Go ahead, say it I don't mind I'm over it. But to answer that, I was chased out of the city when I was fifteen and was stuck on an island for THREE years." said Siren, "I also gained a metal skeleton during the first year of my stay on that island...*shudders*...let's not talk about that."

"You're about as cowardly as your father was." muttered Sasuke under his breath.

*CRACK!*

The cup in Siren's hand was crushed after hearing that and he glared at the young avenger before he took a deep breath and calmed himself.

"You are very lucky." said Siren his voice not childish when he said that, "Excuse me Itachi, I need a new cup."

Siren got up and walked down the hallway and his liquid metal tail blade gave Sasuke the middle finger as he walked by.

"He's right Sasuke, he could of easily killed you by you saying that and I wouldn't have stopped him. In your quest for power to be able to kill me you have become very disrespectful." said Itachi narrowing his eyes at him.

"Hmph! Let's finish this." said Sasuke before a blade erupted from Itachi's stomach.

* * *

Time Skip, full fledge fight (Sorry for this, I couldn't remember the dialogue completely)

Shuriken were flying everywhere as Siren walked back in and walked straight through the volley of shuriken and sat down and poured himself some tea before he lifted up his mask to drink it. He watched as the shuriken battle didn't really go anywhere for either. He sighed.

"BOOOOOORRRRRIIIIINNNNGGGG!" said Siren before a shuriken phased through him after it went off course. Sasuke then threw a windmill shuriken at Itachi and another one went below it causing Itachi to jump between them but Sasuke pulled back his hand which had ninja wire attached to it which was connected to the windmill shrunken and they blew apart, pieces flew everywhere one impaled Itachi in the leg barely missing an important artery.

Siren looked down and found a piece impaling him in the chest.

"AAAAH!" screamed Siren before he moved away from it, "*Sighs in relief*"

Siren then gets up and makes hand signs.

"Hidden Jutsu: Frilled-neck Dragon!"

A massive frill erupts from Siren's neck and he spits out a huge glob of red poison at Sasuke after he lifted up his mask to reveal his mouth. Sasuke dodged the poison glob before he had to dodge claw swings from Siren but got grabbed by the tail and thrown into a wall. Itachi removed the piece of the shuriken stuck in his leg and got up unsteadily before he had a coughing fit and Siren went over to him.

"You okay Itachi?" asked Siren with worry.

"Yeah...*coughing fit*...just a bad cough..." said Itachi before he pulled out his own blade.

* * *

END CHAPTER

Sorry if this seemed rushed but I wanted to lengthen the fight between Sasuke and Itachi. Please read, review, follow, and/or favorite.


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